Twas the night before Christmas: Difference between revisions
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<blockquote>Twas the night before Christmas, and all throughout /b/, | <blockquote>Twas the night before Christmas, and all throughout /b/, | ||
Every /b/tard was fapping, and that includes me. | Every /b/tard was fapping, and that includes me. | ||
The PENIS was out, proudly stiff in the air | The PENIS was out, proudly stiff in the air | ||
in hopes of a post that would please Pedobear | in hopes of a post that would please Pedobear | ||
The /b/tards all staring in front of the screen | The /b/tards all staring in front of the screen | ||
Catching unearthly visions, all mainly unseen | Catching unearthly visions, all mainly unseen | ||
Except for the pasta that flooded the board | Except for the pasta that flooded the board | ||
Christmas was coming to 4chan.org | Christmas was coming to 4chan.org | ||
With a stickam whore wearing a red santa cap | With a stickam whore wearing a red santa cap | ||
and every guy screaming that it was a trap | and every guy screaming that it was a trap | ||
Crashing the server while trying to GET | Crashing the server while trying to GET | ||
All normal things for this part of the net | All normal things for this part of the net | ||
When up on the roof, a noise that perplexed | When up on the roof, a noise that perplexed | ||
I shot off my load in startled reflex | I shot off my load in startled reflex | ||
Away from the desktop, I flew in a flash | Away from the desktop, I flew in a flash | ||
Wondering what the hell caused the crash | Wondering what the hell caused the crash | ||
When, what to my wondering eyes did I see | When, what to my wondering eyes did I see | ||
A man black as night, above all thhe trees | A man black as night, above all thhe trees | ||
Pulled by a horde of memes, well because, | Pulled by a horde of memes, well because, | ||
I figured at once that it was Nigra Claus. | I figured at once that it was Nigra Claus. | ||
Faster than a rapidshare download they came | Faster than a rapidshare download they came | ||
And his voiced boomed aloud, calling all of their names. | And his voiced boomed aloud, calling all of their names. | ||
"Now Zimmer, Now Cracky, now Mongler and Desu! | "Now Zimmer, Now Cracky, now Mongler and Desu! | ||
On Delay, on Picard, on Gendo, and Deku! | On Delay, on Picard, on Gendo, and Deku! | ||
To the top of the board, where the sticky pin lies!" | To the top of the board, where the sticky pin lies!" | ||
Needless to say, I was very suprised. | Needless to say, I was very suprised. | ||
He landed upon the grass of the lawn | He landed upon the grass of the lawn | ||
and walked towards the house, as bright as the dawn | and walked towards the house, as bright as the dawn | ||
The source of the glowing was no magic spell | The source of the glowing was no magic spell | ||
" | |||
"IMMA CHARGIN' MAH LAZER!" the red-lipped one yelled. | |||
The front door exploded, all shattered to splinters | The front door exploded, all shattered to splinters | ||
I realized I just took a shit in my knickers | I realized I just took a shit in my knickers | ||
They poured in the room, with quite a large ruckus | They poured in the room, with quite a large ruckus | ||
"Candlejack?" I exclaimed. "What the fuck is-" | "Candlejack?" I exclaimed. "What the fuck is-" | ||
The words were unable to flow from my voice | The words were unable to flow from my voice | ||
Little did I realize that I had no choice | Little did I realize that I had no choice | ||
to sit and endure the riotous mass | to sit and endure the riotous mass | ||
With cum on my stomach and shit on my ass. | With cum on my stomach and shit on my ass. | ||
Saint Nigra stepped forth, and wrinkling his nose | Saint Nigra stepped forth, and wrinkling his nose | ||
took a look at the room, and shouted "POOL'S CLOSED | took a look at the room, and shouted "POOL'S CLOSED | ||
Don't go in the water, it's full of stingrays | Don't go in the water, it's full of stingrays | ||
and plagued with a virus that's known as the AIDS." | and plagued with a virus that's known as the AIDS." | ||
George Zimmer stood next, and reached into his frock- | George Zimmer stood next, and reached into his frock- | ||
"IT NEEDS TO BE HUEG TO MAKE ROOM FOR MY COCK" | "IT NEEDS TO BE HUEG TO MAKE ROOM FOR MY COCK" | ||
Pulled out some new pants, for my own I had shit | Pulled out some new pants, for my own I had shit | ||
"FROM THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE, BITCH, I GUARANTEE IT." | "FROM THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE, BITCH, I GUARANTEE IT." | ||
He stepped back, and a doll took his place | He stepped back, and a doll took his place | ||
while two orbs of color shined out from her face | while two orbs of color shined out from her face | ||
Her features contorted like an old anguished jew | Her features contorted like an old anguished jew | ||
"Desu desu desu, desu desu desu desu." | "Desu desu desu, desu desu desu desu." | ||
Cockmongler ran up and grabbed hold of my dick | Cockmongler ran up and grabbed hold of my dick | ||
And then took off his shirt, I thought I'd be sick | And then took off his shirt, I thought I'd be sick | ||
He put the rag on me, as I stood there perplexed | He put the rag on me, as I stood there perplexed | ||
now adorned by the image of a bright green T-Rex | now adorned by the image of a bright green T-Rex | ||
Picard flipped me off at warp factor "fuck you" | Picard flipped me off at warp factor "fuck you" | ||
while Cracky-chan smiled, her teeth all askew | while Cracky-chan smiled, her teeth all askew | ||
"Who are you," I asked, "Why are you in this region?" | "Who are you," I asked, "Why are you in this region?" | ||
"We are anonymous," they said. "Anonymous is legion." | "We are anonymous," they said. "Anonymous is legion." | ||
As quick as the flash, they all left the scene | As quick as the flash, they all left the scene | ||
With plenty of shouting and phrases obscene | With plenty of shouting and phrases obscene | ||
They swarmed a female who was blocking their route | They swarmed a female who was blocking their route | ||
and all screamed at once "TITS OR GTFO" | and all screamed at once "TITS OR GTFO" | ||
Mongler suggested "Stick it in her pooper!" | Mongler suggested "Stick it in her pooper!" | ||
The raeping commenced so fast it was blurred | The raeping commenced so fast it was blurred | ||
They turned then to me, and shouted quite clear | They turned then to me, and shouted quite clear | ||
"Merry Christmas to /b/, we'll raep you next year!"</blockquote> | "Merry Christmas to /b/, we'll raep you next year!"</blockquote> | ||
[[Category:Copypasta]] | [[Category:Copypasta]] |
Revision as of 19:29, 18 October 2014
A legendary post on /b/ that appeared on the night of December 23rd, authored by a user named EurobeatJester. The text was a parody of the well known poem A Visit from St. Nicholas, instead filled with references to 4chan. The thread was posted two more times on /b/, on Christmas Eve.
Twas the night before Christmas, and all throughout /b/,
Every /b/tard was fapping, and that includes me.
The PENIS was out, proudly stiff in the airin hopes of a post that would please Pedobear
The /b/tards all staring in front of the screenCatching unearthly visions, all mainly unseen
Except for the pasta that flooded the board
Christmas was coming to 4chan.org
With a stickam whore wearing a red santa capand every guy screaming that it was a trap
Crashing the server while trying to GET
All normal things for this part of the net
When up on the roof, a noise that perplexed
I shot off my load in startled reflex
Away from the desktop, I flew in a flash
Wondering what the hell caused the crash
When, what to my wondering eyes did I see
A man black as night, above all thhe trees
Pulled by a horde of memes, well because,
I figured at once that it was Nigra Claus.
Faster than a rapidshare download they came
And his voiced boomed aloud, calling all of their names.
"Now Zimmer, Now Cracky, now Mongler and Desu!
On Delay, on Picard, on Gendo, and Deku!
To the top of the board, where the sticky pin lies!"
Needless to say, I was very suprised.
He landed upon the grass of the lawn
and walked towards the house, as bright as the dawn
The source of the glowing was no magic spell
"IMMA CHARGIN' MAH LAZER!" the red-lipped one yelled.
The front door exploded, all shattered to splinters
I realized I just took a shit in my knickers
They poured in the room, with quite a large ruckus
"Candlejack?" I exclaimed. "What the fuck is-"
The words were unable to flow from my voice
Little did I realize that I had no choice
to sit and endure the riotous mass
With cum on my stomach and shit on my ass.
Saint Nigra stepped forth, and wrinkling his nose
took a look at the room, and shouted "POOL'S CLOSED
Don't go in the water, it's full of stingrays
and plagued with a virus that's known as the AIDS."
George Zimmer stood next, and reached into his frock-
"IT NEEDS TO BE HUEG TO MAKE ROOM FOR MY COCK"
Pulled out some new pants, for my own I had shit
"FROM THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE, BITCH, I GUARANTEE IT."
He stepped back, and a doll took his place
while two orbs of color shined out from her face
Her features contorted like an old anguished jew
"Desu desu desu, desu desu desu desu."
Cockmongler ran up and grabbed hold of my dick
And then took off his shirt, I thought I'd be sick
He put the rag on me, as I stood there perplexed
now adorned by the image of a bright green T-Rex
Picard flipped me off at warp factor "fuck you"
while Cracky-chan smiled, her teeth all askew
"Who are you," I asked, "Why are you in this region?"
"We are anonymous," they said. "Anonymous is legion."
As quick as the flash, they all left the scene
With plenty of shouting and phrases obscene
They swarmed a female who was blocking their route
and all screamed at once "TITS OR GTFO"
Mongler suggested "Stick it in her pooper!"
The raeping commenced so fast it was blurred
They turned then to me, and shouted quite clear
"Merry Christmas to /b/, we'll raep you next year!"