Anonymous

From lurkmore wiki
Jump to navigationJump to search
This page is about the collective of Internet souls known as Anonymous. For the imageboard service, see Anonymous Posting

Those who frequent /b/ are continually exposed to it's terrible effects, and as a consequence are influenced by it. This transforms them into a new kind of being, a being both genius and retarded, hysterically funny and shockingly offensive, heroic and villainous. This thing is known as Anonymous (or alternatively a /b/tard) both the scum and the royalty of the internet. Their favorite pastimes include offending the innocent, punching babies, watching bizarre porn and, of course, raids on other websites. Their exposure to the horrors of the true face of the internet (gore and porn, and in some cases, gore porn) has enabled them to drive out inexperienced trolls who think they can somehow topple /b/ (this has proven to be theoretically impossible) in utter disgust, and to take over entire forums with unsettling ease.

Anonymous is visually represented by three basic themes: a blank face (often green and containing the text "no picture available"), an empty suit, or, of course, a nigra. However, these are all purely symbolic, as mere pictures are insufficient to convey the true nature of Anonymous.

True /b/tards are rarely seen in real life, while "fake" /b/tards flaunt their vague understanding of memes with some kind of pride. These are often seen at anime cons, and are looked down upon by the true, faceless army of /b/. Also the reason why /b/tards rarely are seen in public is because they would be promptly arrested for any list of crimes ranging from hate to sexual assault.

You may love them. You may hate them. But if you ever decide to invoke their wrath, pray to Snacks and hope for a swift and painless death. Earning their ire, bystanders and peers will only have this to say: You are already dead.

Names of Anonymous

In order to separate themselves from each other, the denizens of 4chan have a name for the users of each imageboard. Some examples of the names by board:

The Declaration of /b/ Independence

Authored by Captain Cornflake on /b/day, the Declaration of /b/ Independence was (and still is) the essential document that separates Anon's ties to his homeland:

When in the course of /b/tard events, it becomes necessary for anonymous to break free from the shackles of oppression set forth by the Furfag mods of 4chan.org.
They have plundered our posts, and deprived us of our jailbait.
They have forced upon us their twisted ideology of "Furry Fandom."
They have deprived us of our ability to fight our enemies, forcing us to submit to the wishes of the Furfag overlords.
In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated bans from our homeland. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free anonymous.
We, therefore, the Representatives of the Anonymous States of /b/, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good Anonymous of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That /b/ is, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the 4chan Crown, and that all political connection between /b/ and the State of 4chan, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.
We are Anonymous. We are /b/. Our home is no longer on 4chan. In these times of unrest, we have formed the State of 7chan.org as our new sovereign nation on the World Wide Internet.
Signed, Anonymous

Though Anonymous has since been shifting between many *chan sites since /b/-day, this document is still important to the status of Anonymous, which defines them as independent of wherever their 'home' may happen to be. From the authoring of this precious document to present day, Anonymous would get full credit for Anon's doings, and not their home. This has since led to the /i/ slogan "Anon gets the credit, *chan gets the blame." In actuality, Anonymous raiders often claim to be from eBaum's World or Gaia Online, which occasionally leads to raid targets attacking said enemies of Anonymous, notable the fairly organized raid from "Street-Gangz" forums attacking eBaums after /i/ struck.

Fox 11 discovers Anonymous

On July 26, 2007, the Los Angeles affiliate of Fox aired a report about Anonymous, referring to the Anonymous legion as "hackers on steroids" and "domestic terrorists" who "treat the web like a real-life video game" and act "like an Internet hate machine". The chans (none of them specifically named, though images of 4chan, 7chan, and 420chan were all displayed) were referred to as "secret websites". Some of the commentary was provided by a so-called "former Anonymous hacker" on a crusade to "shut down" or "stop" Anonymous, with his face hidden and his voice disguised as if he were a mafia informant or something. The "former Anonymous" has been identified as Alex Wuori, a fucktard who tried to use 420chan's /i/ as his personal army, and going to Fox was his pathetic attempt at revenge against Anonymous for rejecting his request to raid a girl he didn't like and raiding him instead. Invasions such as as MySpace hacks, real-life Harry Potter spoiler raids, and the epic raids on Habbo Hotel were also covered, though in the latter case Fox reverse-shooped the nigras into white guys in white suits, revealing their massive faggotry. They also falsely claimed that Forced Anonymous is universal to all chans, rather than specific to 4chan's /b/. However, hearing a news anchor say "truly epic lulz" on live TV more than made up for the fail. Also providing "epic lulz" were multiple clips of a yellow van exploding, and the report that a woman bought a dog to protect herself from Anonymous. Following the report, Fox's own message boards were predictably raided, and /b/ was provided with at least a week's worth of new memes.

Related articles

Retrieved from "https://www.lurkmore.com/w/index.php?title=Anonymous&oldid=1013"