User:age
You've gone by several names, but currently you are known simply as age. You are a solitary adventurer, a sojourner in this world of contented and comfortable people we've come to know as The Internet. Over the years, you've worked your way into many different communities, but none of your social infiltrations have been more complete or well-executed as your assault on chansluts.
General Info
Appearance
You're not a bad looking fellow. Time has been kind to you and molded your features into striking peaks and valleys sitting on a plane of perpetual four-day stubble. People have described you in the past as being God-like in appearance. These people, of course, don't actually know what you look like.
Personality
Ever the avuncular and approachable young man, people gravitate towards you and come to you when they need a shoulder to lean on or a bosom to cry into. Much like the Lorax, you speak for those who do not have a voice of their own. Your voice, however, is often silenced by your own insecurities and penchant for mysteriousness. You have a strong proclivity for misfits and ne'er-do-wells [1]. To you, little is more important than the relationship between a father and his son.
Likes
- Fathers
- Sons
- Jewish women
Dislikes
- Transgendered people
- Men who aren't fathers or sons
- Women who aren't Jewish
Cheers and Jeers
- [23:20] <@J-kun> also age you are a racist ;-;
- [22:51] <@nynnie> age, you're so intelligent ;_;
- [22:55] <WarlordOmenNomen> its age.
- [23:23] <@Sissi> You didn't even make a page, age
Dads
A dad is like a truck; he's reliable, strong, fast, and you can lie down in his bed when he's at work.
Relationship With Your Father
Your father is your best friend. He's more than just your mother's husband, he's also your brother's father, your uncle's brother and your cousin's uncle. You love your father more than Harvey Levin loves a California wildfire. Dad introduced you to chanchan and once, in a moment of weakness, beat you to the brink of unconsciousness when he found out that you'd been browsing the site without telling him. He was insulted and a little hurt that he'd missed out on what should have been an intimate bonding experience and regrets his harsh reaction. He has made you the person that you are today. You can thank him for your sense of humor and good looks. Everyone else can blame him for your propensity towards deceit and your womanizing tendencies.
Communicating With Dads
Your father is a very social guy and it's important to keep in touch with him. Every day you send him an e-mail and, even though he never replies, you know in your heart that he's reading them. They simply recount the details of your day, often in a humorous or entertaining way.
E-mail is your father's choice mode of communication. He especially enjoys talking to other dads. You have taken it upon yourself to collect e-mail addresses from various dads, in addition to networking for your father and sharing his address with dads. Some e-mail addresses of interest have been
- JizzlyBear@comcast.net
- Glad2bDad@charter.net
- StalknStuffHer@gmail.com
- BigDaddyBen@yahoo.co.uk
- Pray4Papa@gundamwing.org
- GlassesAndAsses@bookworm.com
- HankyPankyPapa@live.com
- DaddyODaniel@widfizit.ie
- SodaPop@blademail.net
- PortlyPapi@whale-mail.com
Chemotherapy
Your father began his battle with prostate cancer in the summer of 2003. It has since gone into remission and relapsed over a half dozen times. During his convalescence, he has developed a taste for pizza bagels and diet 7-UP. He claims that the effervescence of the soda gives his morale a much needed lift and the "UP" in the name makes him feel hopeful for the future. Of course, he is in a lot of pain and the medication he's on makes it almost impossible for him to keep food down for very long. It isn't a rare sight to find yourself mopping up the pale orange disaster of stomach bile mixed with partially digested bagels, 7-UP and marinara. The love you feel for your father is tested on a near daily basis, but keeping him happy and as healthy as possible has only served to bring you closer together.
The Works of age
- age rest ye merry gentlemen
- Original author of the now infamous Observe and Absolve creepypasta
- There's an abandoned mental hospital at the top of a hill in Worcester, Massachusetts. Once every five years an old rusty box spring appears within the courtyard of the hospital. If you can sneak inside and sleep through the night on the bed, in the morning a man with a shirt that reads “observe and absolve” will take out his wallet and give you a picture. This picture will show you how you will die. If the picture is of the man standing before you, running won’t help.
Contact
- E-mail: age@chansluts.com
- Facebook: Age Reason
